10 Ways to Tell Your Parents You’ve Failed Midterms
January is arguably the most dreaded month. After all, there are no holidays to look forward to, New Year’s “resolutions” begin to fail, it is BELOW zero, and yes, Midterms. For those of you who are freshmen or are new, Neirad has created the best and most effective list of ways to tell your parents the horrible truth and possible outcome of midterms: failing.
Here are Neirad’s Top 10 Ways to tell your parents you have failed midterms:
1. Hide it.
Do not even bother to find a way to tell them. Change passwords, intercept their phones, computers, and definitely do not forget to rip up the report card! However, once they figure out that they can just ask the school for your grades, Neirad has back up ideas.
2. Ignorance is bliss
“Mom I have no idea what you’re talking about” or “I don’t even take (insert your failed class here)”. This is great for the gullible parents. They will completely forget about it!
3. Blame it on the teacher
Mr/Mrs/Ms. Teacher didn’t even teach us the material! Your parents will feel horrible that they doubted your skills. Works nearly every time. Even if the midterm was a personal essay, your parents don’t need to know that.
Senior, Christian Marcassi,“I’ve failed my fair share of midterms. I just say that we learned nothing that the questions were on. It’s great!
4. Aspen is wrong!
You can always explain to your parents that technology never works out. They completely understand because they have no idea how it works. Soon they will forget about it and before they know it you’re moving on the next year.
5. Lie through your teeth
From “My dog ate my test!” to “The school was burnt down in the middle of it” and everything in between. Your parents will ignore the fact that you failed and just be worried that you are a pathological liar. You win!
6. I was so stressed out from ______’s other midterm!
If you explain to your parents that you were so busy concentrating on another huge midterm you look like the great kid you really aren’t! Be sure to ace the other one you tell your parents you’ve been “too busy” studying for. If not, Neirad suggests steering clear of this one.
7. Pretend like it’s no big deal, your parents are the crazy ones
“Mom, Dad you don’t get it IT DOESN’T matter!” “Why are you freaking out… that’s so weird” “Yeah, you guys are crazy!” They will stop thinking about you and realize they are overreacting!
8. Everyone failed, it wasn’t just me
The classic! It wasn’t just you. Even the smartest kids in your class didn’t have a chance. Always a good way to go.
9. Run away! As soon as possible!
Pack a bag, rent a car, and leave. Before your parents can even try to get mad at you. And be sure to change your name.
10. Tell them the truth
Honestly what’s the WORST that can happen?
With midterms coming up, DHS, be sure to study and do well! But if all attempts fail be sure to come back to this list. Good luck!