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Top Slice: Darien Pizza Power Rankings

Jack Tierney and I have made our way through all four pizza places in Darien these past few weeks, getting a large cheese pizza each time, taking a munch, and giving it a score. The pizza reviews have been really fun to do and people have really liked watching them, so I thought I’d cap it off with an organized ranking of each pizza place in town. You’ve probably already seen the reviews and the score that each place received (if you haven’t go to Neirad’s Instagram @dhsneirad and watch them so this makes sense) but here is a list of all four places, from best slice to worst.
(restaurant name: score)

1)Papa Joe’s: 7.2

Some people probably disagreed with this score when it came out, but Papa Joe’s is legit. The sauce was pretty sweet and tangy, the cheese melted in my mouth, and the crust had a solid crisp to it. I only had Papa Joe’s once or twice before the review, but I’m going to have it much more frequently now, and I think people in Darien need to put much more respect on this place’s name. Not to mention the atmosphere was awesome; Jack and I walked into a small pick up room as the guy was drizzling sauce and cheese on the dough. The line was fairly long but our pizza was ready in no more than 10 minutes. It should also be noted that it was a freezing cold night with a wind chill of probably -20 degrees fahrenheit, but I still thoroughly enjoyed every munch despite my fingers nearly falling off. All of this added up to Papa Joe’s having the best slice of pizza in town.

 

2) Post Corner: 6.9

This was an overall wild review. About two minutes in my Dad came through while he was on a run and stopped to chat, even managing to mention the review tag line “one munch!”. People are saying that they think this coincidence was staged, but I can assure you that it was absolutely not planned, and I think the genuinely surprised look on my face proves that. Anyway, as I said on the review, everyone knows about Post Corner. The classic square slices and the doughy, chewy, Greek style crust. I feel bad not giving them a higher score because Post Corner is truly a town staple, but I think a 6.9 is an accurate demonstration of where they stand. Their famous doughy crust is not really my favorite, as I’m more of a fan of some crunch. Despite this I still am a fan of the taste of the crust itself, which is fairly savory and salty. The sauce is pretty solid but nothing to write home about. The only real issue I have with Post Corner is the cheese. It didn’t happen to me on the review, but on several occasions the cheese has altogether fallen off of the crust, leaving me with nothing but bread and sauce. The “cheesy dilemma” as I’ll call it, is the main factor keeping Post Corner from a ranking in the seven’s and number two behind Papa Joe’s.

 

 

3) Heights Pizza: 6.1

People are probably not too happy about this one as Heights was by far the number one pizza place on the poll on the cafe pizza article, receiving 40 votes. The next place behind Heights was Papa Joe’s, they only received 8 votes. Clearly a town favorite, everyone has had Heights and I think everyone can agree that it’s pretty good. Pretty good, not very good. Trust me, I like Heights, but I don’t think it’s the best pizza anyone’s ever had and I definitely don’t think it’s the best place in Darien. The crust is crispy, which by now you know is something I like, but the cheese and the sauce are fairly mediocre, making Heights a 6.1, maybe a 6.5 on a good day.

 

 

4) Planet Pizza: 5.1

Planet Pizza isn’t bad, it’s just, well, eh. I don’t mean to be a jerk here because I like this place, and spent a lot of time there with the boys in middle school, but the slice is simply average. One thing that has always bothered me about Planet is how underdone the cheese and crust is. Give me a little crunch and some brown heat bubbles on the cheese, I’ll be a happy man, Planet simply does not do this. Also, you don’t need to be a Pizza expert to know that Planet’s slices are “YUGE”, to quote the Donald. You can see in the review that I’m struggling to hold the massive slice as cheese is sliding everywhere. There are simply too many negatives to give Planet Pizza a score higher than a 5.1 at best.

 

So that’s it for the Pizza Power Rankings of Darien. My main take away, our pizza is simply not good compared to other towns. Quite frankly, we are pizza deprived. Jack and I plan on going to other places in Connecticut such as Colony or Pepe’s, maybe even New York City, to find pizza that is more pleasing to the palate (if you have any suggestions please let us know). I might be being a little too much of a Pizza snob here, buy hey, you play to win the game, and we’re playing to find the best Pizza in the universe. One much, everyone knows the guidelines.

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