We all have at least one person in our life who is simply just a likeable person. Someone that everyone can get along with, everyone can talk to, and someone who is just overall a well-rounded person. What do they do that makes them so likeable? We all must have thought about at least one person.

I looked up the definition of a so-called “likeable person”. Merriam Webster’s definition states that a person perceived as likeable is “having qualities that bring about a favorable regard : pleasant, agreeable, the most likable character in the play”. Being a likable person comes somewhat naturally — getting people to like you can oftentimes come off as manipulative or needy, however, a naturally likable person is just that — natural. 

I also Googled “ways that make a person the most likable person in the room”, and gathered the most repetitive answers, as well as interviewed the most likable person I know: my Dad, Mark Cappelli. I also asked my friend senior Alison Enters how she became very likable as well. Let’s see how the internet, Enters, and Cappelli compared on likability. 

Sense of Humor

Having a sense of humor was the trait I saw the most when researching. Most people who are perceived as likeable are funny. However, being funny can come off in two main different ways.

There are people in this world who are naturally funny. Some people are comical and quick- witted by nature when they simply do not intend to be. 

On the other hand, trying to have a sense of humor normally does not come off very well or naturally. Pushing yourself too hard to be comical often comes off as being a try-hard, or makes the room awkward.

So if you are not naturally funny, and you don’t want to be a try-hard, what do you do? The answer is loosen up. Being too uptight and self-conscious are roadblocks to developing and communicating a natural sense of humor. Naturally funny people are relatable, and not perfect.

Researcher Elliot Aronson at the University of Texas, Austin studied that people are perceived as more likeable when they show they are not a perfect image, as this shows who they are talking to that they are a normal person as well. So, loosen up! A natural sense of humor will follow. 

Be Authentic

Being authentic is another great trait practiced by likeable people. Being authentic proves to an audience that you’re true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you’re under to act otherwise.

Being authentic comes with many examples. It can be as simple as not saying something you truly do not mean. It can also mean that you put on the same personality for everyone. “Putting on a show” for a specific group of people or a singular person that is different from how you normally act, demonstrates that you put on a different face for different people.

Enters stated that “you should be nice to everyone, but do not change your personality because of it”. Being nice to someone should be something you practice because you want to and it is the right thing to do  — do not fake it!

Being authentic is a great trait to practice because it shows your audience that they are not less than the next person you talk to, and it makes it known that they treat everyone the same as “the next guy”.

Want more information on wait likable people practice? Check out 12 Habits the Most Likable People Have in Common.

Be a Good Listener 

Being a good listener is something that we’ve all learned in elementary school. Focus on the teacher, be able to recall what they just said, and nod your head occasionally to prove you are listening.

However, being a “likeable person” good – listener requires you to dig deeper and practice more thoughtful skills. Showing you are interested in the conversation enough to ask questions about a certain topic someone is talking about shows you are listening to little details. Remembering little details about someone has proven to show that it makes the “listener” an overall well-rounded and more likeable person than one who would not remember.

In a conversation, letting the other person talk without getting sidetracked shows them that you are 100% tuned into the conversation. This can go two ways, however. Letting the other person talk lets them know they have room to talk to you. On the other hand, not saying or contributing anything to the conversation can make that person feel like what they are saying is going over their head. So, contribute to conversations, and maybe a follow up question. It is the little things to show someone that you care!

I asked Cappelli what one thing he practices that makes himself such a likable person; he answered with: “Be genuinely interested in the conversation you are having with someone; show you care”. This falls under two categories: being authentic and being a good listener. Enters also stated that this is what she practices, responding in “engange in conversation”. This also contributes to being a good listener, and making connections with other people. 

So, if you want to maximize your likeability, show someone you care and be engaged in conversation!

Have a Friendly, Open Demeanor 

Though this seems like a “no-brainer”, having a friendly, open demeanor sometimes goes over people’s heads. An open demeanor is the manner in which someone presents themselves. Someone who has an open demeanor is typically very approachable; for example, someone who many would consider a good option to ask for help to find their next class. Having an open demeanor includes making eye contact, smiling, focusing on their conversation, and all the other ways that have been discussed on how to be a more likeable person.

I asked Cappelli again other things he practices naturally that make him such a likable person. He too included that you must be “light hearted and laugh a lot”, and also “having a positive outlook and see the good people”. Lightheartedness contributes to having an open demeanor; it shows things won’t be taken too seriously and conversations can be fun or entertaining, not boring and brutal. Seeing the good in people might be, in my opinion, the most important aspect, because while practicing this, you can believe many people are solid, good people. 

Overall, being a likeable person can never be forced. Most of the time, likeable people possess traits naturally, it’s just who they are. However, if you genuinely want to pratice being a well rounded and well sought out person, give these practices a try!