Wake up, good morning; it’s a new day.

In the last twenty four hours, not only have your knee high brown checkered socks become totally in, but the rainbow rhinestone peace-sign belt paired with them has been coined a staple. Lucky you!

Want to find happiness in your life? Real, substantial happiness? Nothing says I am happy like a head to toe graphic tee with a smiley face. Why smile when your shirt can? But wait, there’s more. Today is better than yesterday. Today we are all about Sandstone. Not taupe; Sandstone. A better shade of brown; more stand alone. Celebrate the browns in your life through expression; wear Sandstone today. 

Bonus points if you wear a sandstone graphic tee with a smiley face with a sparkly belt and checkered socks. Why? Why do we do it? You may on occasion ask yourself this, when your closed mind

asks you why that orange puffer jacket hanging to the mannequin’s knees at Zara- the jacket which you hated a month ago- has now found itself at the top of your Christmas list. Well, that is because you are better than your former self. Your former self who was so terribly ill advised; the self which you everyday improve. You’re welcome.

Walking the hallways in the freshness of sandstone and puffer jackets and glitter belts and checkered socks, you get to express how much better you are. Indeed, everyday we embrace fluidity. Contrary to all those societal figureheads who suppress change, we open our arms and decorate ourselves with it. Yesterday, we wore celestial blues in accordance with the sky. Today, we wear sandstone because we are strong; nothing is as strong as a rock. And tomorrow, no matter what tomorrow is, we know that sandstone and celestial blue will have been worn, and what is worn is tacky. Change cannot be tacky. All this changing, the evolution of standard, we again arrive at a moment of self growth. Opportune in all its qualities, fashion eras – while days in length – spawn the individual into an instigator of society; we pride ourselves in the ability to provoke change in the very decadence of our costume. From feathers to frill to neon to lace, you’re welcome.

You, as a participant of the fun which fashion has to offer, belong to something now; welcome to the community. Here, our people dress like you and spend like you and look like you, and it makes you feel special. As a part of this community, everyday is a new day, and we hold hands and skip in our identicalities. You are a statement; you’re a gem, and beside us, you’re eye-catching. Except not today; today we wear sandstone; brown is not eye-catching.

To stay a part of the group, all you have to do is spend! Everyday, for only a few minutes, keep up. Feed the men and women who design your style; be grateful, say thank you. Taking the time out of their lives to craft the artistry which dresses you on the daily, our leaders are admirable! They are patrons, indeed, and the least you could do is pay them. Good god, what kind of human would you be if you didn’t? You need their guidance. You need all of our guidance.  

But hey, spoil yourself. Life is short. Stay trendy.

People won’t take you seriously without style.

Find happiness. Find style. Find a community. 

Wear sandstone today, and never again.

Embrace change; Let us help you. From your friends at fast fashion, you’re welcome.

Personal Note:

The idea of a fast fashion satire came to me in the very flood of my subscription emails.  

ASOS, on December 2nd of this year, sent me an email with the subject Just-dropped Freshness, followed by the subtitle It’s All About New.  The body of the email contained photos of new women’s socks, festive stickers and washi tape, and a rhinestone butterfly belt.

As I was scrolling down through my 300 unread emails, I found another ASOS ad, sent to me on November 26th.  It was warning me about the upcoming Black Friday sale; thousands of styles were up to eighty percent off already!  One of the styles was this:

Of course, nothing screams style like an orange floor length puffer jacket and a rhinestone butterfly belt.  And yet, I can’t help wondering where these items would have been placed on the fashion-standard-meter a couple years ago.  In 2020, Anna Wintour, the editor-in-chief of Vogue – perhaps the most influential fashion magazine in the world- spoke to Naomi Campbell on her YouTube show No Filter.  During the interview, she stressed “that we need to have more of an emphasis on sustainability,” adding, “We needed this terrible event (coronavirus) to make us understand that it’s not about needing to change, we have to change, we are going to change.”  While emphasizing the importance of sustainable fashion, Wintour also recognizes the fluidity within people and fashion; art is bound to change.  

So, in its fluidity and fun, fashion is art- and art is often unrealistic.  

And even still, I am prone to the fun; so easily convinced that I need something.  That shirt would go perfect with those jeans!  Fully aware of the teetering expectations which fast fashion is oriented on, its very name suggests speed; proving how quickly something can go out of style.  Why buy the shirt if I’m only going to wear it once; if in one night a statement piece that I needed finds itself in the back of my closet?  And in the presence of such inquiry, I’m still twinged with joy whenever a new package of clothes arrives at my doorstep.  I admit this is extremely shallow.  I can’t help it.  It’s romantic. 

I suppose, then, that clothes and fashion serve as props to actually substantial experiences in my life.  Going to the mall with my friends and buying things we like, perhaps it’s materialistic, but it serves as a greater opportunity to bond.  That statement piece and those jeans, it may only be worn one night, but that night you’ll feel like a jewel; serving as a source of pride and conversation.  And when that new package of clothes gets delivered, you walk into school the next day feeling like you belong.  So while the fluidity of fast fashion is incredibly easy to mock- as that satire was the easiest thing I’ve written this year (it was basically just a collection of emails) – friendship, confidence, and a sense of belonging are all valid extensions of happiness.

Critics will tell you that we’re shallow and materialistic and foolish and wrong.

But your package just came, so you’ve got to go.

Sources:

Lifestyle Desk. “We Need to Emphasize More on Sustainability: Anna Wintour.” The Indian Express, Indian Express Group, 24 Apr. 2020, indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/fashion/we-need-to-have-more-of-an-emphasis-on-sustainability-anna-wintour-6377319/. Accessed 4 Dec. 2022.